Day 30

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Poppop.

Thank you, Poppop for being the best grandfather anyone could ever ask for. You're sorely missed and I can't wait to see you again some day. I love you always, RIP

Taking a break from the challenge for a post

It's time I've done some self reflection.  My relationship has been, well I don't really know how to describe it. I wouldn't say it's rocky, because it's definitely not anything to worry about, but I would say we've just been peeved with each other lately.  The distance is wearing us thin. Two years away from someone you love is obviously not the ideal situation (while I know I shouldn't complain because at least I did get to see him in those two years and it could have been worse); we are just so close to being able to finally be together and be normal.

Normal is a pretty relative term and one could argue that with the Marine Corps, life is never normal.  However, I feel as though being able to live together (minus deployments and trainings) will make us the "normal" couple I've been striving for us to be.

My biggest difficulty right now has been dealing with the being apart, not only physically, but also even if we can't talk. It's like I have this terrible separation anxiety that I can't get rid of. I feel even weaker with him being in the States than the seven months he was deployed. I just don't understand what is making me feel this way. The problem started after he came back from deployment; I have no idea what triggered it in me. You would think that after deployment I would have been able to handle things better, but not really at all. I now handle everything ten times worse.

The smallest things get to me. For example, tonight. I wasn't feeling well this afternoon. I was asked to babysit and hadn't had the chance to talk to Dan all day. I just wanted to talk to him, but literally seconds after him finally waking up and getting on AIM, he announces he's going out tonight. That really irked me.  The whole going out without me thing really has been irking me. It's not that I don't trust him either, because I do 150% I just have that awful anxiety issue. (I am a self-diagnosed hypochondriac, though).

This issue is eating away at me and more importantly, my relationship. Something needs to be done. I feel as though venting about it here might do the trick, I certainly hope so. Maybe it will bring some type of advice from someone who has been in a similar situation. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for, but here it is world. This is why I've been so out of it.

ETA: I just found this and I think I'm going to try it, I wanted to try "The Love Dare" when we got married. But for all you Marine wives, fiances, and girlfriends out there, I bet you'd love it. You can even do it if he's not deployed... Deployment Love Dare

Day 29

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

The proposal.

The day we decided the rest of our lives. What a fantastic moment, I'm so glad everyone was able to share in it the way they did. He proposed in front of my whole family, my family friends, and his family and friends, talk about guts!

Day 28

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Tornadoes.

Pretty much any wind, thunderstorms, lightning, etc. scares the bejeesus out of me. It is not going to be a fun summer in NC dealing with more frequent pop up thunderstorms.

Day 27

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

The DiOttavio Cousins

I couldn't pick a picture of just me and one of my family members, so I picked my siblings and my 3 DiOttavio Cousins :) They're the best!

Day 26

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Memories at the shore.

Up until I was a senior in high school, we would always go to the shore. Yes, it is in fact the Jersey Shore, but not the area that MTV claims as the "Jersey Shore"; my shore is Sea Isle City. I miss those times so much and wish we could all go back to going as a family. We had such great times and some of my fondest memories of my childhood (though it's debatable if I've made it out of being a child yet) happened there.

Day 25

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Sykpe date.

I love me some skype dates :) This actually happened on January 25th when I was originally supposed to make this post :P

Catching up on some... Day 24

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Incurable Diseases.

I couldn't find a picture that I liked of this one, so I decided that the picture was cute. I wish I could make every disease curable. I hate that people have to suffer with any type of disease that cannot be completely cured.

Day 23

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

I can remember this being the first adult fiction novel my mom gave me to read.  I was 13.  Since then, I became fascinated with Nicholas Sparks and reading anything my mom could give me.  I had trouble coming up with a favorite book, because I read all the time. I would have to say Nicholas Sparks and Jodi Picoult are my favorite authors though. I just recently finished "Safe Haven" and can't wait to see what Nicholas Sparks and even Jodi Picoult come up with next.

Day 22

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Style.

I wish I was better at styling myself. I want to look hip and young like I should, but I feel like I always wear grandma sweaters and clothes that don't flatter me.  When I eventually get some money, I'm definitely going to ask a friend who has style to take me out and just pick out things that look right!

Day 21

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

There is no picture for this other than a broken heart, even though my heart is far from broken nowadays. Only two people in the world (Dan and I) know what I wish I could forget. It's nothing to do with my relationship with Dan, but it's something I still am so terribly scarred over.  I'm just extremely thankful that I have found someone who looks past it and accepts me for who I am, rather than who I was.

Day 20

Day 20- A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Western Europe.

Dan was lucky enough to go to Italy this summer and I was extremely jealous! (He had never been out of the country before, let alone New York City and that's 2 hours from home!) I want to be able to travel to Ireland, Italy and Poland before I die to see where my ancestors came from.  I'm only the third generation on my mom's side, so we still have family over there. I also want to travel the Mediterranean and see all the beautiful sites it has to offer.

Day 19

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Dear Family,

I cannot explain how much I will miss you.  I know I'm so excited to move to North Carolina to be with my husband, but I don't know what I'm going to do without you.  I cannot express to you all the emotions that I'm feeling, because mainly I'm scared. I'm scared to be the first one to leave the wonderful home and life you've created for me. I'm nervous as anything to fail on my own. But, I know that I'll always have you all to come back to.  Thanks for getting me ready for this and giving me something to look forward to when I'm gone: always coming home.

Love,

Your sister and daughter

Day 18

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

My entire body.

I know this sounds extremely cliche but yes, my biggest insecurity is my body.  I know I could go on for hours and hours, but I won't.  I don't like how I can gain and lose weight at the drop of a hat; it makes me so angry how my weight fluctuates (especially since my wedding in 3 months away).  I cannot stand my thighs. It's obnoxious how big they are.  My stomach is another thing, it goes from flat to flabby and won't decide how it wants to look on any given day. On my face, my nose is my biggest insecurity. I just wish that I could find love for my body and not rely on Dan to tell me I'm beautiful every single day. I get extremely self-conscious if he doesn't tell me it. I know he does it on his own and it's not forced but there's something about if he doesn't say it, I freak out. Some day I hope that I'll be able to be comfortable in my own skin, even if it means having to force myself to work out every day to get those results and keep up with them.

Day 17

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

There are quite a few things...

Oaks Elementary School.

This is where I'm student teaching for the semester and I'll spend a lot of my time there. It's like having a full time job, just being a student still.  I really like the school and would love to have a job there one day when I come back from NC.

MCAS Cherry Point.

This is where I'll be moving to once we get married. House hunting and deciding things from 500 miles away is no fun, but it's going to be very worth it. Not to mention the job hunting and staying there during the upcoming deployment, but it will become home because that's where my love is.

And lastly...

Our wedding.

This is the most time consuming thing ever. I am beginning to hate planning things. They say you're supposed to have fun planning your wedding, but I am not. All the little things are getting to me, but it's ok, the end result will be very worth it. I will be married to the love of my life and finally moving with him! Now, if the Marine Corps would love to cooperate with my plan, that too would make it all better.

Day 16

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

My Mommom.

She's 84 and still works and babysits my 3 little cousins (7, 5, and 3) and goes to church every day and has put up with a lot of crap.  Her brother was killed in WWII, my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer (4 different times) and many other diseases and finally succumbed to them, she was her sister's caregiver, and even my siblings and my caregiver when my parents divorced.  This woman will honestly bend over backwards for anyone. She's basically awesome.

Day 15

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

I want to be a mom.

I think there's nothing more loving a person can do than be pregnant for nine months and willingly bring another life into this world with their partner.  I've wanted to be a mom since I could remember and used to babysit all of my family friends' children.  I was told at 13 that I'm going to be a great mom someday and I cannot wait for that day to happen (but really, I can wait, I just know that's what I want to do with my life).

Day 14

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Daniel Adam.

My life would be so much less complicated (Thank you, Marine Corps) but at the same time I would be lost without him. He saved me from being a crazy cat lady (and I don't even like cats).

Day 13

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

The Fray.

My all-time favorite band since I would say what 9th or 10th grade.  I can't remember exactly when I started liking them, I heard a leak of something of theirs on the internet and I just fell in love.  They sing my all-time favorite song "Look After You" as well. I wasn't one of their bandwagon fans either, I liked them before Grey's Anatomy and before they were super famous :)

Day 12

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

The beach.

I know it seems like a typical girly girl thing to say I love, but I truly love the beach.  I could spend hours on the beach laying on a blanket or sitting in a chair reading a book or even building sand castles.  I find no other place as relaxing as the beach. I can't wait to move a lot closer to it!

Day 11

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

War.

I think this one is pretty much self explanatory.  I don't hate many things but this one I do, for so many more reasons that just the fact that my fiance is a Marine. It was actually a struggle for me to come up with something I hate but this popped into my head.  I'm more of a silence the violence increase the peace kinda girl; it must be my inner hippie coming out.

Day 10

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with

Liz.

Liz has been my best friend since 9th grade.  We've seriously done the craziest things together.  She made me break out of my shell and I love it!

Day 09

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

My FOTF Family.

This was an incredibly difficult post for me to figure out who has gotten me through the most. I'd love to say any of my friends, but I can't. In the past two years, I have grown so much from my relationship that none of my civilian friends even understand what I've gone through. Yes, they supported me, but they did not get me through it. My family didn't understand either, but yes they got me through it; however, they didn't make the most impact on me to get through it. I would have put a picture of myself, because typically I tend to keep things inside and get myself through them. BUT, without this wonderful group of ladies, I would have been lost. I thank my lucky stars every day to be a part of such a close-knit group of women. These ladies have been through everything I have and they can relate to me. They're there to listen any time of the day or night and can offer advice that no one else that isn't in the situation would know to offer. Thank you ladies for making my days brighter and for giving me the confidence to hold my head up high and face whatever the Marine Corps throws at me.

Day 08

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

or...

It was a toss up between the two, but the first picture definitely I love more than the second. They just make me smile. Dan was the cutest little baby and for some reason that picture can always put a smile on my face. The second, I asked him to show me a picture of his new green MCMAP belt and that's what I got. He's cute :)

Day 07

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

My engagement ring.

I'm not one for material items and I would say that I probably have other things that are technically people, but it asked for item. I love it and Dan did such a great job picking it out all on his own. It's custom made with a story behind it so I'll share it: Dan was deployed on the 24th MEU and their last port was Italy. While he was in Italy he bought me an engagement ring and he ended up thinking the diamond was too small. He tried to buy a new diamond and put it in the same setting, but apparently according to jewelers it wouldn't fit. So, he got my ring custom made and sold the diamond and kept the gold from the original for me to be able to do something sentimental with it later. I accidentally saw the transaction from Italy on his bank statement and said, "HOLY CRAP! What would you spend $2,000 on?!?!?!" He's luckily quick on his feet and told me, "Remember that night I emailed you and said I was really drunk? Well, I paid for a whole bar tab." YIKES! I thought and it ended up causing a little disagreement. Flash forward 2 weeks and multiple cry sessions later because he said he wasn't ready to get married, and he proposes! It was a trick the whole time. Mainly, it's just important to me because it symbolizes our love and our new life and journey together.

Day 06

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

T.Swift

Taylor Swift is awesome. I saw her live in concert and too many people give her criticism about it, but she seems like a relatable and genuine person. I'd love to meet her! Trading places with her would be even more awesome.

All caught up :) Day 05

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Easy peezy lemon squeezy! Best day ever, hands down :) Homecoming on August 11, 2010. The sheer joy on Dan's face is enough to melt my heart ten times over (especially for someone that doesn't ever smile like that). Probably pathetic that I enjoyed this moment better than being proposed to, but it was the best feeling in the world for not seeing his face in 7 long months.

Two more! Day 04

Day 04- A picture of your night.

Sykpe date with the fiance and looking at the best website ever! whenparentstext.com

Still catching up... Day 03

Day 03- An picture of the case of your favorite show.

I'm a gLeek!

So I'm bored and want to catch up...Day 02

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest



Taylor and I.

He's my step-brother and I've known him since I was 4. He's my bestest friend!

Day 01

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts



1. I'm terribly impatient. Don't let that fool you though, I've found a profound sense of patience when dealing with my fiance being a Marine. It's just waiting on the mundane, every day things that I have a lack of patience for.

2. Even though I'm impatient, I'm going to be an elementary teacher. I told myself that I would never in a million years want to be a teacher, but I ended up knowing that's exactly what I wanted to do.

3. I'm a lefty.

4. I have a biological brother and sister, as well as 4 step-brother's at my dad's house and 2 step-brother's at my mom's house.

5. I'm getting married on April 23, 3 days after my last day as a college student. Call me crazy, but I call it an adventure.

6. Wedding planning is for the birds and definitely not my thing, but I'm now trying to have fun with it.

7. I'm moving to North Carolina after I get married. I'm scared to death, but don't tell anyone else that. The thing that worries me the most is that I'm going to be living alone during a deployment and my family is 500 miles away. Living there is going to be worth the two and a half long years apart, though.

8. I always told myself that I wasn't going to date someone in the military. Now, I'm head over heels for a Marine and survived a deployment.

9. My biggest fear is tornadoes. Basically, even when it just thunderstorms, I'm a scaredy cat.

10. Dan (my fiance) and I have technically known each other for a very long time. My dad was his baseball coach when he was in third grade. My mom was his fourth grade teacher. Flash forward about 10 years and we meet again working together at CVS. The first time I saw him working I thought, "Wow, who's the cute new kid?" Throw in some flirting and relationships that didn't work, lose contact during boot camp, see him over boot leave and he accidentally gives me the wrong number (it was a typo on Facebook), lose contact over MCT, find each other again on Facebook. The rest is history :)

I'm Back!

Well, I've decided to come back to the blogging world :) So much has happened basically this is going to give me the chance to explain my journey over the last year. Starting with this...

31 Day Photo challenge:

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 31 - A picture of yourself